Photo: JP Valery / Unsplash

In England today there is an epidemic of loneliness: One survey in 2022 found that 49.63% of adults (25.99 million people) in the UK reported feeling lonely occasionally, sometimes, often or always; 7.1% of people in Great Britain (3.83 million) experience chronic loneliness, meaning they feel lonely ‘often or always’. And this applies across age groups: Young adults aged 16–34 are over five times more likely to struggle with chronic loneliness than those over 65. How can Christian faith help us with this? Are there any particular truths that can help?

This is the second post in a series considering “Truths to live by”, focusing on the wonderful truth “God is with us.”

In the Old Testament

The theme of God being with his people runs as a thread throughout the whole Bible: Think of how a strand of colour runs all the way through a stick of rock, or a piece of music with the same melody returning over and over. This shouldn’t surprise us because God is a relational God – a God who ‘is with.’ The Father and the Son have dwelt with one another for eternity in the power of the Holy Spirit who is perfect joy and love. They created the universe as an overflow of that joy and love – so that others might share their joy with them. 

In the Garden of Eden the first man and woman were with God – he walked in the Garden in the cool of the day (Genesis 3:8). But the close fellowship was ruined by sin as the first man and woman looked inwards, putting self before relationship. They hid from God in shame and found themselves banished from the garden and facing a cursed world with broken relationships.

But some still walked with God. Famously, we read of Enoch:

When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah. After he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked faithfully with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived a total of 365 years. Enoch walked faithfully with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.

Genesis 5:21-24

Later, God makes great promises to Abraham – promises that are a great turning point of the Bible and lay the foundation for the gospel of Jesus Christ. Amongst other things he says

I will establish my covenant … to be your God and the God of your descendants after you.

Genesis 17:7

God being with Abraham and his descendants – in relationship with them – is at the heart of these great promises to undo the damage done at the Fall.

At the time of the Exodus from Egypt, God formally brings Abraham’s descendants into relationship with him. After crossing the Red Sea and receiving the 10 commandments, Israel sin against God. But Moses prays for them, God forgives them and then Moses says to God:

If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.“

Exodus 33:15-17

Moses sees how important it is that God’s Presence is with his people. It’s not enough for God to bless them by sending them to the promised land – they need God to be with them.

As Joshua prepares to lead Israel into the Promised Land, God makes this famous promise to him:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

Joshua is to obey God (verse 8), and as he does he can have confidence that God is with him. Israel are undertaking a hazardous mission, but Joshua doesn’t need to be afraid or overwhelmed by the obstacles that face him. He can be strong and courageous because God is with him.

I can’t leave the Old Testament without referring to many people’s favourite Psalm, Psalm 139. The Psalmist is aware that wherever he goes, God is there with him – because God is everywhere. This is a wonderful realisation, but of course it’s also a reminder that if we wanted to get away, or hide from God – we can’t: God sees and knows everything, for he is everywhere.

In the New Testament

The New Testament reveals the fulfilment of all the promises in the Old Testament. As Jesus is about to be born, an angel appears to Joseph in a dream and says:

Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.

Matthew 1:20-23

And then Matthew makes this comment:

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).

Matthew 1:23

Jesus is Immanuel, God with us. Had they fully grasped it, the 12 disciples and all who spent time with Jesus during his earthly ministry could have said “God is with us.” God is eating with us, he is teaching us, he is healing us, he is helping us, he is present with us. In Jesus, God came to our level and he even identified with us in our sin and our suffering: As he died on the cross he suffered more than any of us ever will, he endured the consequences of our sin so we don’t have to.

Now seated at the right hand of the Father in heaven, Jesus is no longer on earth. But he promises that he is still with us:

All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:18-20

He is with us now by his Holy Spirit. As he said to his disciples in the Upper Room:

If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

John 14:15-18

And we often experience him being with us, giving us a deep sense of how much God loves us (Romans 5:5). We experience him leading and guiding us:

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

Psalm 32:8

We experience him giving us gifts and abilities. We experience him through other people: Someone says a word of encouragement or gives us a hug or helps us in some way and we know that God has been with us through them.

Finally, as we consider the future a day is coming when we will be with him physically, we will see him and we will never be separated from him again. (Revelation 7:15-17, 21:1-4).

Objection – It doesn’t feel like it

But it doesn’t always feel as though God is with me. Often this is the case when we’re going through a difficult time: We feel like we’ve been abandoned, by God and other people.

And the devil loves to make us feel isolated and alone, because then we’re more vulnerable to his lies. That’s why it’s so important to keep meeting with God’s people when we’re struggling – not to isolate ourselves, or to stay away from people.

But let me direct our attention to a lone figure hanging on a cross outside Jerusalem. Jesus knows what it is to be alone and abandoned – betrayed and deserted by his friends. As he hung on the cross the world was against him. Even his Father, whose fellowship he’d enjoyed for eternity, was against him, pouring out the punishment for our sin on his Son in love for us.

Whatever loneliness and isolation I’ve experienced – Jesus has experienced it, and more. Which means that when I feel I’m in the pit, I can be sure that Jesus is in the pit with me. He’s standing beside me, supporting me, lifting me up, identifying with me. God isn’t aloof and distant. He’s been there; he knows what it’s like.

How should I respond?

1, Come near to God

Sometimes when we feel far from God it’s actually because we’ve created the distance from him. Perhaps we’ve wanted to hide from him; or we’ve felt he’s let us down and we’ve retreated. The apostle James writes:

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

James 4:8

Choose to draw near to God. If you’re aware of sin in your life – confess it before him; if you’ve been withdrawing because of suffering – remember that Jesus has been with you. And so come near. And we can consciously do this each day, saying to God: “Be with me today; I want to draw near to you today.”

And coming near to God includes coming near to his people. We can find encouragement and support and help from God’s people, so it’s not surprising that if we stay away from our church community, we’re not as aware of his presence.

Perhaps you wouldn’t yet call yourself a Christian yet. I’d like to gently ask you: do you not want today’s truth to be the reality for you – that “God is with you”? If so “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” It’s not automatic that God is with everyone. He promises to be with and bless those who are his people. And you can do that right now – Come near to God!

2, Enjoy his presence

God is with us – what a precious truth! Earlier we recognised the scourge of loneliness – none of us likes being lonely or isolated. And of course we need friends. But ultimately we are never alone, because God is always with us and we can experience his presence.

In the book ‘Practicing the Presence of God’, we are told of the experience of Brother Lawrence, who devoted himself to enjoying and being aware of God’s presence with him throughout each day. Could we also experience this? I believe we can, through the means of grace which I’ve referred to before. As we climb into the river of God’s grace, so we can receive blessing from him – including the experience of his presence. For example, we might try:

  • Pausing at different points during the day to re-centre my heart – to return an awareness of God’s presence and his love.
  • Memorising Bible verses, and then recalling them at different times during the day. Or consciously thinking about and living in a bible story, like the story of Zacchaeus being called by, and being with Jesus.
  • Times of silence, simply enjoying God’s presence and his love.
  • Talking to him through the day – Giving thanks for the good things I experience, praying for particular things, having a conversation with him. 

These might be helpful for you, or you might find other things helpful. The key thing is to find ways to enjoy God’s presence with you.

3, Take courage

God is with us for a purpose – he has given us work to do. As Jesus said at the end of Matthew’s gospel – “Go and make disciples – and I will be with you always.” He is with us as we serve him, make disciples, and live for him.

And when he calls us to do something difficult or uncomfortable we can have confidence that we are not alone – he is with us. Think again of God’s words to Joshua. God has called Joshua to lead his people into the Promised Land, and there will be many dangers and difficulties. But God says:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

Perhaps you sense God calling you to take on a new area of service, or to explore a new area of ministry. Or perhaps you’re in the midst of a difficult time and you’re wondering if you can keep going. God says “Do not be afraid – I will be with you.” You’re not on your own; you have the Holy Spirit.